Jamies Choice: Now and Always
by QueenzSmoak
Summary: When the latest battle against the English doesn't go as planned and Claire is injured, will Jamie risk it all and place his oath to Claire above his oath to King and Country risking the Princes wrath and treason? *Spoiler Alert* If you haven't "watched season 2" of Outlander or read "Dragonfly in Amber"
1. Chapter 1

*Spoiler Alert* If you haven't "watched season 2" of Outlander or read "Dragonfly in Amber"

I own no rights to these characters and I pay my respects to those who created them and who bring them to life on the big screen.

Now and Always

When the latest battle against the English doesn't go as planned and Claire is injured, will Jamie risk it all and place his oath to Claire above his oath to King and Country risking the Princes wrath and treason?

Chapter 1: Promises

I had watched Jamie leaving, the tension in his shoulders as he rode atop his mount was subtle, but it was clear to me. After weeks and months of scheming and preparing, going over every possible way we could think of to avoid the devastation that was foretold, it was all becoming way to clear. The road had been long and hard and it would only lead to one inevitable place, the defeat of the Highlanders at Culloden and the end of life as we knew it. After Wentworth and France, Jamie and I had sworn to each other that we would never be parted again, and as I watched him trotting into the distance, I saw the pain and fear in my heart reflected in the broad shoulders of my beloved Jamie. He didn't want to leave me, anymore than I wanted to be left behind, but the fates were toying with us again and once more we faced the unknown, together but apart.

It had been some time since we had first gone to war at Tranent and we had fought many battles since then, but each one felt as if it was the first and the last. On this particular occasion we had found ourselves making the makeshift camp only a short ride from where the men had decided tomorrows battlefield would lay. An old fallen down stable had been hastily made into a make shift hospital for my immediate triage while a small cottage further down the road would house those who were strong enough to travel there unassisted. I could see the clearing just on the next rise on the other side of the small valley below, the only true advantage point for miles, and I wondered to myself whether the agony of being left behind to think the worst, would be worse than seeing him fight with my own eyes.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

Lying in the cold wet grass Jamie listened to the sounds of the night as his men lay nearby. Their impatient breathing and restless bodies rustling the grass around him. The English were close, too close for Jamie's liking but at least they still had the advantage of surprise on their side. He couldn't sleep, he hadn't slept in some time if he was being honest with himself. Claire had offered to give him a potion but he had declined, he couldn't afford to let his guard down, not even with his men watching over them. He could only trust one man with her safety and there would be no argument about it. He loved that she always tried to stay awake with him, his sweet mo nighean donn keeping him company in the long dark nights, but he always found himself grateful when the weight of her body sunk into his as she passed out asleep each night, free from the harsh realities of their situation at least for a while. Apprehensive about what was to come in the morning light, he wished he could have her with him to play with his hair and sooth his fears away like she had done so many times before but it had been decided that she was to stay in the hospital, guarded by three of his most trusted men and young Fergus, and the others would wait at the base of the hill for the first hint of morning light.

The night seemed so empty without her and he longed to hold her in his arms again, to feel her sweet soft touch once more. He held on to his last image of her, her face flushed as they stole a quick moment together out by an old oak tree when no one was watching, while they had been 'gathering much needed herbs for her medicine chest'. With so many men crammed into so few cottages or in makeshift tents on the side of the road these last many weeks it had been hard to find a moment of true privacy in amongst all the chaos but he was thankful that they had. The smell of her skin, rose oil and other pleasantly pungent weeds he recognised, etched into her flesh from grinding flowers to prepare for her medicine chest earlier that morning, still ripe on her fingers. The scent filled his nose as she ran her fingers over his lips, daring him to bite them as he always did.

The late afternoon light was still hanging in the air, a pink haze filling the sky as he pulled her close and drew her into him. Kissing her neck, he longed to take her slowly and passionately but he would be missed soon and he knew that Lord George Murray would want to leave within the hour and there were still preparations to be made. He felt her fingers in his hair as she played with his curls and the stretching of her neck muscles as she looked up into the sky. God she was so beautiful, so welcoming, how did she know exactly what he needed? Finding his way back to her lips, he felt his hand start to tremble as he began lifting her skirt. "It's ok." She whispered, gathering the material and placing it in his hand before reaching out to lift up his own kilt, "Je Suis Prest" she comforted him, clearing his mind of the fear that this would be the last after all, how many times could you taunt the devil and win?

As though called to arms, he leaned back to look into her eyes, he could see the fear he felt reflected back in her gaze, but also the unspoken trust between them that he would look after her, that he would stay safe so that he may fulfil that promise. Kissing her passionately, he lay her down into the tall grass and began to make his way up her thighs. It was one thing to go to war not knowing if you would live or die, but to know you were on the losing side and there was nothing you could do about it. It was a suicide mission no matter which way you looked at it. To desert the cause and flee into the hills forever branded a traitor and a coward, or to follow the fated Prince into battle and seal your own fate. God what kind of a choice was that he had often asked himself these past few weeks as he was forced to make it over and over again, fearing that one day his luck would run out.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

It was over sooner than normal, but it was by no means rushed. Holding each other tight as we lay there afterwards, we both willed time to stand still. We could hear the sounds of his men down below beginning to form muster and we knew that it would be only a matter of time until they found us there. I could feel him studying every inch of me, making a mental picture in his mind, if I couldn't be with him in person I could at least be with him in spirit. Brushing the hair from my face as he held me in his arms, I felt his lips curl spontaneously as I smiled up at him. "You come back to me Jamie Fraser." I warned him, "Or ill drag you back myself by your curly red hairs…. And I don't mean the ones on your head." I winked at him.

"Och Aye." He grinned at me. "I might just hold you to that." He kissed me on the forehead as he began to sit up and gather his things.

"You'd better." I kissed him back. "I'll be damned if His Majesty will get to have you before I'm done with you, or the all mighty himself for that matter." I added with a touch of blasphemy.

"Claire…" Jamie spoke my name softly as he began hesitantly, but was stopped as I leaned in and covered his lips with hers.

"Don't say it." I begged him, I knew what he wanted to say, that if something should happen to him I was to make my way straight to Lallybroch and to safety. He had made me promise time and again "I know. Now go." I urged him as I handed him his sword. He didn't speak, not with words, but as he held my gaze our eyes spoke a thousand words and promises to each other, signed in blood as we took each other's hands and made our way back down the hill.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

Jamie held onto that moment now as he readied himself for the fight to come. He realised he wasn't fighting the war to win for Prince Charles and return the rightful king to the throne. He wasn't fighting to save the Scottish Highlanders from extinction, both of which he knew were already decided. No. He was fighting for the day he could hold Claire in his arms again a free man, he was fighting for her. And that was something worth fighting for. Letting the feeling of clarity wash over him, he felt some of the tension leaving his body and for the first time since leaving Claire's side that afternoon, he felt a version of peace. His eyes grew heavy and he allowed himself to drift off for a moment, "Je Suis Prest" he whispered to himself, "Let tomorrow come."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Battle Cry

Standing on the hill the next morning, Jamie watched as the clansman around him prepared themselves physically and mentally for what was about to come. Murtagh stood nearby, the only other man other than himself and Claire who knew what the fates had in store, but there was no sign of defeat on his face. He looked just as ready for battle as Jamie did, even more so. He could see Ross and MacBeth nearby and the rest of the Lallybroch men. He said a little prayer to keep them safe then took up his position ready to lead his men into battle.

Everything happened so fast, the Englishman advanced on them as they made their way up the hill towards the English camp. He could hear the clanging of steel as swords met defending their owners over and over again. The cries of men as they lay on the ground trapped in their broken bodies and the orders of Chief's as they urged their men to fight on. The ground around him bleed, not just with the blood of its victims, but with the clumps of earth thrown into the air as hooves and cannonballs scorched the fields around them. His beloved Scotland would never be the same. He stumbled as a cannon landed nearby and dirt rained down from the sky, his opponent taken out by the blast. His hair was full of blood and mud and he could feel it weighing him down as he tried to shake it off. He ran another officer through, slit the throat of the next as he tried to even up the numbers for his men. He could see Murtagh to his right looking every bit like the iconic blood thirsty outlaw highlander of the old tales and he could only imagine what he looked like himself. Looking back over the hill, he could see the smoke rising from the stables fireplace and thanked the gods that she was safe. The battle was young but already some men were crawling back up to the stable for her assistance and he knew that from the cries around him, she would be overrun with the injured in no time.

She worked so hard, harder than any man he had ever seen, tending to the ill day and night, calming their nerves and mending their bodies, comforting them in their final moments and giving them hope when they had none. She barely slept anymore, except for the hour or two she stole each night and she barely ate as rations all over were scarce. He was watching her waste away before his eyes and he cursed himself for not fulfilling his promise to her that she would always be fed and warm. Even in the midst of battle he had noted several rabbit holes nearby and fresh droppings on the ground, after this was over he would go hunting for her. She was long overdue for a good meal of meat and not just stale bread and Rhenish and he swore to himself that she would get it. Taking down another Englishman and withdrawing his blade from his assailant's lifeless body, he leaned backwards in an involuntary reflex as the familiar sound of a cannon whizzed past his ear at full speed and exploded into the hill on the other side of the valley, the earth shooting out at all angles like a volcano Claire had once told him about. "Claire." The thought was enough to sober him up immediately, the English bastards were aiming at the hospital he realised as another cannon landed several meters above the first. Scouting the land and finding his target, Jamie raced through the field like Hades himself dispatching no less than six men as he made his way to where the cannons were sitting. Murtagh had noticed Jamie's haste and followed in in close pursuit, a simple glance towards the stable and the image of the scorched land below telling him all he needed to know. Letting out an ear piercing war cry, Jamie flung himself through the air and knocked the young soldier about to light the fuse off of his feet, slitting his throat as he landed on top of him. Murtagh, two steps behind, took out his partner before he could stab his godson in the back as Jamie stood up to look at where they had been aiming.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

I watched the battle as long as I could, it was hard to make out the faces, as the distance was just far enough away that they all looked like tartan clad blurs in the early morning light. Each man that went down, each cannon that exploded I prayed it wasn't Jamie. I hadn't realised that I had been holding my breath until the first of the men appeared over the clearing and hobbled in my direction, his arm hanging from its socket and a gash to the stomach, followed closely by four more. With only Fergus to help, and her three faithful guards, I had no time for self pity. I saw that the men were made comfortable and I did what I could for them. Even though the morning was cold, the room was warm and I felt myself hampered by my thick cloak. Setting it down in the far corner, by my medicine chest and the sword Jamie had given Fergus, a smaller imitation of his own he had had made the last time they were near a blacksmith, I set about triaging my patience and sending them off down the road. There were no cots, just blankets thrown on the ground all the kneeling over and getting up and down was playing havoc on my knees but I didn't let it show. "Here Milady." Fergus handed me a small cup of water as I insisted my latest patient take a sip of whiskey, setting his leg would be painful enough sober and the laudanum had run out days ago.

"Thank you Fergus." I grinned at him. I knew he wanted to be in the battle field with Jamie, but on that account we both agreed that he was too young. "Can you pass me that bandage." He was a fine assistant, even if he didn't want to be. Fergus held the leg up as I bandaged the leg and checked the patient was still with us, if not unconscious.

"What was that?" Fergus screamed as the ground shook slightly underfoot. It caught me off guard as well but I held my composure.

"It's just the vibrations from the battle making its way through the ground." I assured him, recalling the time I had felt an earthquake beneath my feet.

"I've never felt that before Milady." Fergus questioned me as I stood looking at the empty doorway, my guards temporarily distracted by something in the distance.

"We've never been this close before." I reminded him, "It's nothing." I assured him as I stood up to see what had distracted Jamie's men. As I approached the doorway a third tremor shook us, more powerful than the first two and I could see the dirt cloud rising from the valley below. My breath caught in my throat as I looked at the men around me. Eight injured, five badly and two unconscious. I looked to my guards again and then back inside to where Fergus was giving another drink of water to the men as he made his rounds, and back to the guards. My stomach turned as I realised the unthinkable decision I was about to face.

"Milady." The urgency in the young Fraser boys voice was clear as he looked at me and then back to the valley.

"The men, there's too many of them, you have to help me." I begged him, I couldn't just leave them behind.

"There's no time." He insisted as he reached out to grab my arm but it was too late, I was already back inside the stable and yanking my patience out of their deathbeds.

"MILADY!" He ordered me, but as he reached out to grab me against my will I stood my ground and stared him down. I knew Jamie had given them strict instructions to keep me safe but I couldn't leave these men to die.

"Take those three." I ordered the guards pointing to the unconscious men in the corner, "Fergus get Mr McNab out of here." I ordered next as Fergus braced himself to take the mans weight as he rested on him like a crutch. I took a fifth man, bandaged and blind from a head wound while the three others scrambled for their lives on their own, barely making it out of the stable as another cannon exploded just meters from the entrance. We lay the men out in the field by the oak trees nearby where Jaime and I had visited the day before, just far enough out of reach of the English target. I breathed a sigh of relieve that they had all made it out relatively unharmed before making sure their dressings had held with all the man handling. Reaching for a bandage to stem the bleeding of McNab's knife wound, it was only then that I realised that my young assistant was no longer by my side. "Fergus?" I called out, but there was no answer. "FERGUS?" I shouted again as I looked around frantically but I couldn't see him anywhere. The guards noticed my distress and looked out into the woods and back towards the valley, "He must have gone to tell Master Fraser that Milady is safe" one tried to assure me but I knew he was mistaken. Surely Jamie would have seen what had happened and would be worried but Fergus would never disobey Jamie's order o stay by my side. As I looked towards the valley, praying I was wrong my heart froze as the something moved inside the stable.

"Fergus NO!" I screamed as I raced after him. None of the guards close enough to stop me thankfully. I paused briefly as I got to the entrance my body willing me to turn back around but I saw Fergus in the far corner of the stable, oblivious to my presence. "Fergus get out of here." I yelled at him as he turned around startled. I was at his side in a moment, ready to drag him out by the ear if need be. "It's not safe." I warned him as he

"I just need to…" Fergus began as he reached out and grasped the medicine box in one hand while he grabbed his sword in the other.

With no time to argue I grabbed him by the arm and spun around to see the three guards approaching from outside. It was only 20 paces to the door and I held Fergus tight as I estimated our chances of making it there in time. I had only made it 5 steps when my feet froze and my ears pricked to the sound above us. Pulling Fergus close to my chest I held Fergus tightly to me, shielding his face as I shared a knowing stare with the men outside, still gesturing for me to run to them. "Jamie" I cried out as the cannon hit the rafters above and the roof caved in around us.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Choices

"CLAIRE! CLAIRE!" Jamie cried out as he jumped from his horse in full flight, having wasted no time in grabbing a horse and racing across the fields he was at her side in less than five minutes, the horse struggling to catch its breath as it now rested in front of the burning stable. "CLARE!" He cried out, the flames already warm and the smoke stinging his eyes. He didn't need to ask, the look on their faces told him she was in there.

"Oh god. CLAIRE!" He cried out again, now assisted by his men as he lifted burning beams with his bare hands and making his way through the rubble. The thatching material and beams that had fallen into the fire had set the stable ablaze within moments and the rest of the roofing material was beginning to light up section by section. "Mo nighean donn. Speak to me Claire. Don't leave me." He begged.

"Over here." One of his man called out, the fire hadn't yet reached the back quarter and as he lifted off the beam and threw it to the side with as little effort as needed to throw a stick, he came face to face with his sweet Sassenach, lifeless and covered in dirt and soot where she lay pinned down under a beam, the form of a small child still held tightly in her arms.

"Milord?" a faint voice mumbled, too weak to speak.

"Hold on laddie. I'm here." Jamie reached down to touch his cheek in a reassuring gesture as they worked quickly to free them from the beams. Murtagh, now caught up to his godson, had made his way inside to lend a hand. As the men lifted the beam, Jamie reached down and pulled Fergus free, cradling him in his arms a moment, glad he was safe before passing him over to one of the men who swiftly took him outside to the others.

"Clare?" Murtagh looked to Jamie, she still hadn't moved and wasn't answering his calls. There was no time to panic. As Murtagh and the remaining men lifted the other beam off of her, Jamie wasted no time in sweeping her up into his arms and rushing her outside.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

Cradling her in his arms as he sat in the field by the burning stable as he rocked her back and forth, checking her over for serious injury as she had checked him many times before. Her skin was still warm and her chest moved, if only slightly, as she breathed slow shallow breaths but there was no recognition in her eyes when he opened them. "Claire?" he cried into her hair as he felt at a loss for what to do. "Come back to me Claire." He begged her as the men just watched on helpless. Murtagh handing him a wet cloth, to wipe the blood from her face. They had both seen many men with head injuries such as this, some lay on the verge of death for days before recovering miraculously, but most, Jamie swallowed hard at the thought, his mouth dry with fear, most never recovered and passed away shortly after.

"She's strong laddie. Dinna Fesh. It'll be all right." Murtagh placed a hand on his godson's shoulder and stood in silence behind him, his hand on his sword just ready to defend them should the need arise as Jamie sat oblivious to the world around him.

"Is she dead?" Fergus asked, half groggy himself as he crawled over to Jamie's side and took Claire's hand in his own. Jamie didn't respond at first, lost in his own thoughts and grief, but then he took Fergus hand, which still held Claire's, and smiled at him.

"No Fergus. Milady is still with us." He said as much for Fergus as for himself. It was all he said as they sat there together, holding her close and willing her to stay.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

Murtagh had sent a guard to fetch a wagon for the injured so they could be taken to safety as soon as possible. Jamie however wasted no time in waiting for the wagon and had taken both Claire, still unconscious in his arms, and Fergus holding on for dear life behind him on his horse to the safety of the nearby cottage. Once there, he had insisted on cleaning her up himself and stitching her head wound. Fergus had recovered, save for a small headache and was now by Claire's side, just as Jamie was. Claire had been placed in what served as the main bed, and now looked like a fine lady, just sleeping, surrounded by a makeshift pillow and a fine handmade quilt as she lay unconscious before their eyes. Once her wounds had been tended to, Jamie had taken up a seat beside her bed, holding her hand as he watched her chest rise and fall. Swearing that if she would just wake up he would take her far away from all of this, he also promised himself that he would never leave her side again. Young Fergus was obviously of the same opinion as he had taken up a chair on the opposite side of the bed and was also resolute in his oath to stay by her side until she awoke. The cottage had no rooms, so the other injured lay at the foot of the bed and scattered around the seating area. The guards saw to their needs as Murtagh made sure that the fire remained lit and the room warm. Murtagh ken the look in Jamie's eyes well, and prayed that Claire would recover soon, for if she didn't, the rage inside him would surely be enough to see him win the fight for the Bonnie Prince Charles single handed.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

Oblivious to how much time had passed, Fergus, who hadn't looked at Jamie in the eye since he had been pulled from the rubble, began to cry. At first Jamie ignored his sobs so as not to embarrass him, but the boys tears were so full of sorrow he could not let him go uncomforted. "Dinna Fesh lad." Jamie smiled at him, "It'll be ok."  
"It's all my fault." Fergus declared as he pleaded with his master to forgive him.

"Nay." Jamie shook his head, "If anyone is to blame it is me. I shouldn't have let her be so close. It was a stupid mistake."  
"No Milord." Fergus stopped him, "If I hadn't gone back inside then Milady wouldn't have been injured." Fergus wailed remorsefully as Jamie realised that he hadn't asked for the exact details of what had happened. All he knew was that Claire was injured and she needed his help.

"What do you mean?" He enquired softly, tying not to voice accusation or agreement.

Fergus recalled the events that led up to the fire. "The men told us to get out but Milady wouldn't go, not till the men were all safe." He told Jamie.

"That definitely sounds like Milady." He smiled, selfless to the end he recalled, stroking her hand one more time.

"But we did get out, and we were looking after the men. She asked for a bandage and that's when I realised that we had left her medicine box behind. I know how much it means to her. She spends so much time gathering her herbs and the like, I knew how important it was to her healing. I thought there was time." Fergus could hardly speak he was sobbing so hard.

"So you went back to get it for her?" Jamie never ceased to be amazed by the young lads loyalty. "With no fear for yourself?" he added in gratitude.  
"I must have come after me. I didn't know what was happening, but I saw the look of fear in her eyes as she pulled me close to her." Fergus tried to breath as his breath froze in his chest, "I'm sorry Milord. It's all my fault."  
"Hush now." Jamie reached across and took his hand, then lifted his chin to catch his eye. "You are not to blame Fergus. In fact you are to be praised for thinking of the medicine box as you did. You placed yourself in great danger so that many others could live. That is the mark of a true hero." Jamie grinned at him.

"But Milday was injured…" Fergus pleaded with him. "I promised to keep her safe. I have failed you."  
"Milady is a stubborn woman Fergus and you ken it well. And she is just as heroic as you. No one can stop her once she puts her mind to something. You are not to blame, no one is." Jamie felt the words leave his throat, but still his heart felt no relief. It _was_ his fault for not keeping her far from the battlefield and no one would make him think otherwise, it was he, Jamie, who had failed her and he prayed he would be given a chance to make it up to her.

Over the next several hours the injured began trickling in, but still held strong by his oath, Jamie never left her side. He spent his time watching her breath, interrupted only by brief moment of wiping her brow with a cool cloth and trying to get her to take a sip of water. She had schooled him many times of the importance of water and something called hydration when it came to the recovery of her patients. He whispered in her ear, pleading with her to wake, then sat perplexed and fearful when she didn't. It was almost nightfall by the time the Prince and the chiefs returned from the field. The battle had not gone well going by the injured piling up around him. He hadn't noticed the silence that fell over the room when they entered and had no intent to stand on ceremony in their presence.

"James Fraser." The vexed voice roared as it entered the cottage, looking for its intended recipient. "Where the hell….?"  
"Shhh." Murtagh motioned to his dirk as he insisted that the Prince lower his voice, a command that normally would have seen him killed on the spot, had the Prince not seen the subject of his ire with his own eyes. "As you can see." Murtagh spoke, "The lad is quite busy at the moment."  
"That may be so..." The Prince continued, "But still..." He peered closer to the bed, obviously taken aback by the lifeless form in the sheets before him. The look in Jamie's eyes deflating the Prince and his escort immediately as he took a step back and lowered his voice. "… I see now that your absence on the field today was not an act of cowardice." A word which saw the threat in Jamie's eyes grow more daring, and caused the Prince to flush with fear, "...but was most excusable." The Prince backed down. "Is the dear Mrs Fraser still with us?" he whispered more softly to Murtagh, too fearful to anger Jamie further.

"She is holding on." Murtagh informed them, "But it does not look good." He regretted.

"I had no idea." Lord Murray apologised, "If there is anything we can do?"

"Aye. It is all in the hands of god I'm afraid." And one very stubborn red headed scot Murtagh thought to himself.

"Then fetch my priest at once." The Prince announced to his men, "You have my sympathies Fraser." He continued as he slowly departed, "She is a fine woman and an impressive healer. She has served her king well." He finished before disappearing back into the open air. Jamie didn't answer, the look in their eyes and the tone of their voices implied that she was dead already. Well not if he had anything to say about it. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Duty and Honour

For three days and three nights Jamie and Fergus sat by her bed, and for three days and three nights Claire walked the fine line between life and death. At one point Jamie had nodded off, startled by fear as he woke, he noticed that her chest was no longer rising and he shook her violently trying to bring her back to him. Begging her to stay. Whatever he had done it had worked, and although shallow, her chest had begun to rise again. From that point on he did everything he could not to close his eyes again. Many of the injured had recovered enough to re-join their men, or had been sent to join the others in the kirk. Only a handful of severely wounded men remained. The battle had been hard fought and the English had won this round and the Prince was eager to get back his pride and take them on and reclaim victory. Being sworn to the Prince, Jamie knew his duty was to go wherever the Prince commanded and to do whatever was asked of him, but that would mean leaving Claire behind, as she would never survive the journey in her current state.

"Milord." A messenger approached with caution, as all who had tried to come near him had been abused for their troubles. He refused all food and drink that they offered, deciding he would eat when she did, for if she died, he had promised he would join her soon after.

"What is it?" Murtagh answered for him when Jamie made no effort to acknowledge his presence.

"The Prince summons you. He wishes you to join him straight away."  
"You can tell his Highness that it simply isn't possible." Jamie waved him off in reply.  
"He said you might say that, and that I'm to remind you that you have a duty to the King." The young messenger paused, looking at Mrs Fraser, "No matter the circumstances." He stuttered in fright.  
"You can tell his majesty." Jamie began to rise, a cautioning hand on his shoulder from his dear friend restraining him from killing the messenger, "That if he wishes to speak to me he may come and visit me here, for I made an oath to my wife that I shan't leave her side, and I don't mean to break that promise. Not again."

"He will not be pleased." The messenger bowed in acknowledgement. "But I will let him know."

"I really don't care." Jamie remarked as he returned his attention to his wife. Wiping her brow and stroking her hair.

"You can't defy the Prince forever." Murtagh warned him. "You'll do Claire no good if you're hung as a traitor."

"I'd like to see them try." Jamie threatened as he tried to release his godfathers grip from his arm, without causing too much damage.

"Milord!" Fergus stood up startled as he looked at the main entrance and grabbed for the sword that he still carried on his belt. Jamie noted the boys apprehension and motioned for him to stand down.

Jamie steadied himself as the four armed guards who had entered the cottage now approached him with haste. "Dinna Fesh." Jamie sat up alert, "They'll not take me alive." He winked at Fergus.

"That's what I'm worried about." Murtagh remarked as he placed his hand on his swords hilt, he knew the lad would not go down without a fight.

"James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser?" The guards asked officially.

"Who wants to know?" Jamie played along.

"His Royal Highness has instructed that you either accompany us to meet with him at his pleasure, or else we are asked to bring you before him with force."  
"I'll not leave me wife." Jamie declared, noting that the other men of their party had all hastily made their departure from the room, leaving Fergus and Murtagh to stand by him, flanking each side.

"So be it." The guards tensed up.

"Leave the boy out of it." Jamie begged, nodding to Fergus to back down once more.

"Milord?" He felt insulted.

"This can only end one way for me lad. I need you to guard Milady. She'll be waking soon and she'll need ye to comfort her."

"Yes Milord." Fergus bowed and sat back down reluctantly.

"Now." Jamie stood up and removed the jacket from his shoulders, giving him easy access to his sword and dirk. "Which of you would like to try first?" He asked them as a large brawl broke out. They tried to restrain him, but he broke free every time. Throwing the guards left and right into walls of stone and wooden tables. Murtagh tried his best to even the fight but Jamie wasn't giving him much of a chance. Even half-starved and sleep deprived Jamie was a better fighter than he'd ever seen. The fight went on for several minutes, the guards battered and bruised got up time and again and stood their ground. As Murtagh found himself detained by one guard, Jamie found himself tiring and held to the floor, face down by the other three. His cries of rage piercing the night as he let his anger free. Feeling the heel of the guards boot in his back, and a steel blade at his throat Jamie welcomed death if that's what the fates chose. Deciding that the fight was lost, he paused a moment, the realising that the blade was no longer at his throat, he looked back to see the form of five well-built Lallybroch men taking up the fight in his place.

"Milord." Fergus cried out but his voice was lost in the rabble, "Milord!" He cried out again louder and more insistent. Jamie now stood eye to eye with the guard's pistol as the other two guards that had once held him down now lay unconscious on the floor. The Lallybroch men held at bay by a second pistol aimed in their direction. No longer a friendly sparing match among men who had no desire to truly fight each other, the remaining guards, not entirely certain that Jamie was in command of his mind, had obviously decided that his life and honour were at stake if he lost. Murtagh still held his sword to the fourth guard, but shared a look of warning with the first guard noting that he ken it too. He had seen that look in Jamie's eye only once before, after they had rescued him from Wentworth, when he had lost all hope that he could ever be whole again.

"Jamie." The voice was soft but unmistakable, "Jamie!" It called again as the room fell deathly silent and all eyes turned to the bed at the back of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Hope

"Clare?" Jamie felt a knife pierce his chest as if condemning him for his thoughts of leaving her behind and he felt his breath catch in his throat. He wanted to turn and see her for himself but what if it was all in his head? The pain of disappointment would be too much to take. There was no choice, not really and as he spun his head around to look towards his beloved, momentarily forgetting he had a gun aimed at his head as he went to move to her side. Only the quick reflexes of the guard pushing the gun closer to his face and the glint of the pistol flashing in the corner of his eye reminded him of the position he was in. "Please." Jamie begged throwing down his sword and raising his hands in defeat. She hadn't moved yet, but the smile on Fergus's face told him it wasn't a dream and as the guards took a quick glance at each other an agreement was made. Almost immediately the mood in the room lifted and the intense rage that had once been there was now replaced with hope and joy.

"Let him go." The guard dropped his gun and placed it on back in his belt as Murtagh lowered his sword on the fourth and let him go. Jamie nodded his thanks to the men and raced to her side immediately, watched closely by all in the room who took a tentative step forward trying to witness this miracle for themselves.

"Claire?" Jamie whispered as he grabbed her hand, it was warm and the fingers twitched instantly and coiled themselves around his own bringing a smile to his face. "Mo nighean donn." He whispered as he kissed her hand, then her forehead before resting his face above hers and staring into her eyes, still trying to adjust to the light in the room. "I thought I'd lost you." He whispered to her as he kissed her softly on the lips and brushing her hair from her face before he kissed her again, lingering a little longer on her lips as she found the strength to kiss him back. "Blood of my blood and bone of my bone." He reminded her as he stared into her eyes, a single tear streaming down his cheek as she reached out and brushed it away.

"Till our time be done, and even after." She promised him pulling him closer and kissing him again, "I'm not going anywhere." She smiled as he let out a nervous chuckle.

"I'll not let you go again, not even death may part us, I'll follow you wherever you go." Jamie informed her as he felt the weight on his shoulders lift and became aware of the audience that had gathered in the room behind them.

"I can see that." She scolded him gently as she traced the fresh knife wound on his right cheek and the beginnings of a black eye.

"Aye, it's just a scratch." He assured her, grabbing her hand and holding it tight as he kissed it over and over again. Her hands were still cold and a little numb.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

"Milady." Jamie sat back as Fergus dived in and hugged me tightly, impatient to wait any longer for his turn to say how pleased he was that I was well. "I was so worried."  
"Hush." It was easy to forget that he was still just a child and I pulled him close and tried to soothed him as best I could, holding him tight as I stroked his hair. "I'm fine I promise." I assured him.

"Careful lads." I heard Murtagh say as I looked up to see a pleased smile on his face, a highly uncommon sight especially nowadays. "Give the lady some air. Let's give them a moment aye." He patted Jamie on the back and bowed towards me before taking his leave, as did the others who had gathered around. I could hear them outside once they left as everyone congratulated each other like they had won a big victory and went to tell everyone the good news.

"What on earth is going on?" I asked, recalling that my first sensation was of hearing Jamie cry out and hearing the crashing of bone and wood as the men fought. "How long have I been out? What did I miss?" I asked in quick succession, earning me a glance from Jamie as he stroked my chin and wondered how much to tell me. Jamie hesitated a moment and looked to the two guards who still remained in the room, and the two on the floor who were beginning to stir.

"Tis nothing Milady." The lead guard apologised, "I beg your pardon for the intrusion." He curtsied, "I shall advice the Prince that you will be delayed Milord." He winked at Jamie and then ordered his men to leave. Leaving us alone.

"I would be most grateful." Jamie thanked him, not taking his eye from me as I sat up and tried to piece together what had happened while I slept. He took my head in his hands, "I shall speak with his majesty as soon as I have finished tending to my wife." He smiled at me, raising an eyebrow as he did so. No man would tell Jamie Fraser what to do, not even the Bonny Prince himself and I wondered, not for the first time, just how much trouble he had gotten himself into while I was gone.

"Jamie!" I asked again, with a tone which warned him not to try and avoid the topic. "What have you done?"  
"You heard the man. Tis nothing." He grinned sheepishly. I didn't say anything, but the look on my face must have warned him that I was in no mood. "I made you a promise Claire." He continued, "That I'll protect ye above all others, and when I saw that the stable was under attack…" He needn't say anymore, I knew exactly what he would have done.

"You left the battle." I finished for him, the word treason unspoken between us. "The Prince did not take this well I assume." Referencing the four guards in my room as I woke trying to drag my husband before the Prince.

"Och, Nay. He understood, once he saw you…." Jamie flinched at the memory and I reached out and took his cheek, rubbing my thumb on his soft skin, he took my hand and continued.

"But the guards?"

"The Prince is an impatient man and the fight did not go well." He informed me, "He was eager to retaliate, to gather his troops and move on, but I knew that was a death sentence for ye." He stuttered painfully. "You were out cold for three days Claire." He told me, "I was ordered to leave you behind and return to my troops." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight, "An order I refused to obey."

"You stayed by my side the whole time?" I asked, not needing an answer, but more a confirmation.

"I promised I'd never leave ye Claire, and I always keep my promises." He smiled as I pulled him close and kissed him great appreciation and love. Forgetting momentarily that Fergus was still in the room with us, he kissed me back hard as the rage from the past few days filtered into unbridled passion and yearning.

"I was here too." Fergus reminded him as he blushed and stopped himself from ripping my blouse off in front of the boy.

"My two brave men." I kissed them each on the forehead in turn, as Jamie tried to dull his desire standing uncomfortably by the side of the bed. "How could I ever thank you?"

"It was our honour Milady." Fergus answered first, as Jamie grinned at how regal he was becoming. "Let me fetch you something to eat."

"That would be lovely." I thanked him as he as he left to go outside to where the food rations were kept. I looked to Jamie, and around the room at the mess that had been left behind by the recent skirmish. "What will the Prince do?" I hesitated, knowing that he could have Jamie beheaded for such an act.

"Dinna Fesh Sassenach." He grinned at me, begging me to trust him. "The Prince is a reasonable man and I'm sure he will understand my position, once he sees it was all worthwhile."

"Worthwhile am I?" I teased him as he moved in closer again.

"Sometimes I have my doubts." He grinned at me, "But Aye." He toyed with me as I felt his kilt rise a little and I bite his lower lip as he kissed me, "You're worth it."

"Careful Milord. Fergus will be back any minute." I warned him, trying to cool him off, but not very hard.

"Let him wait." Jamie insisted as he leaned in closer. "I've waited three days to hold you in my arms and hear your sweet voice and now I have you I'll not let you go for any man, or anyone." He whispered, his hand sliding down what I realised was one of his spare shirts towards my chest. My skin tingled under his touch and I found myself giving in as he mastered each move with a gentleness in spite of his urgency.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

Jamie made sure I had something to drink and some warm porridge as he filled me in on everything that had happened. My own memory was foggy except for a faint recollection of watching the earth explode before me as I watched the cannon fire approach. Fergus apologised profusely, no matter how many times I told him he was forgiven, and I could hear the men celebrating outside with a giant bonfire and feast that had been started some hours ago. I had worried at first that the English might see it but Jamie had assured me that the English would be too busy planning their advance to care about raiding us this soon after the last attack.

"Don't ever leave me again." Jamie made me promise him as he tied the laces of my corset and helped to brush my hair. I had insisted on going outside and joining the men as soon as I was able. Jamie had disagreed, but as always, I had persuaded him to the contrary. Apart from being a little light headed I felt no lasting ill effects from my injury. "I could not bare to lose you mo nighean donn." He whispered in my ear, as he nestled his head in my neck.

"I promise." I whispered to him, taking his hand as he rested it on my shoulder. I could tell he had suffered an awful fright, one that would not be forgotten quickly and for that I was truly sorry.

"We two are one, I am not complete without you." He spoke softly into my shoulder, his hand twitching and holding me tight as if afraid to let me go.

"Nor am I without you." I echoed his statement taking his hand in mind and turning to face him. "It was your voice that I heard, that brought me back." I told him, "I could feel you with me."

"I'll never leave your side again." He swore, holding his dirk in his hand, as he had done when searing an oath never to raise a hand to me. This was an oath he planned on keeping, no matter what. I took the dirk from him and swore the same before handing it back.

Jamie placed the cloak on my shoulders and I pulled it tight in front of me. "Je Suis Prest." I smiled at him, extending my hand out so he could help me to my feet. He had insisted in carrying me out to my chair, my legs still weak underneath me, but I had insisted on walking out under my own steam. My feet felt like jelly under me put they held up strong, as Jamie's firm hand around my waist took most of my weight from me. Fergus watched me closely, intent on staying by my side as Jamie did and I wondered if they would ever let me out of their sight again. Slowly I made my way outside to a roar of cheers from the men who sat already feasting on a meal of rabbit and fresh bread. I noted a grin of pride on Jamie's lips as he sat me down by the fire and Fergus fetched me a plate of my own. "Where did we get the meat?" I asked Jamie once I was settled, taking a much needed sip of the whiskey he had handed me.

"I promised you that married to me you would always be warm and fed." He smiled, nodding a gesture of thanks to his men, "I had meant to catch it myself for you, but us Frasers are good hunters you ken. I told them Milady would need a good meal when she wakes. It was the least we could do after all you've done for us." He kissed me softly on the lips.

"My knight in shining armour." I grinned, grabbing him by the cheek and kissing him passionately, regardless of who was watching, which by now was everyone. There was another loud cheer as Jamie blushed and I felt my own cheeks flush. It seemed from the flow of well wishes that my primitive medicine had made a welcome impact on the men after all and each took it in turn to show me how grateful they were that my injuries had not been permanent. For the first time in a long time I no longer felt like a Sassenach, an outsider. I was officially one of the clan and I truly felt a sense of belonging which warmed my heart, and broke it at the same time. These were not just Jamie's men, they were my men and each one had found a special place in my heart. Not for the first time I found myself wishing that I didn't know about the bloody Jacobite's or their fates. I wanted just to be Mrs Claire Fraser, Jamie's wife and not a profit of their doom.

JAMMF JAMMF JAMMF

"I am glad to see you well Mrs Fraser." The Regal voice announced himself as he took a seat nearby. "Our dear Jamie here was quite beside himself while you were gone. Poor lad almost lost his head with grief." The Prince winked at him, and warned him at the same time. His actions would be forgiven for now, but there would be no such leniency next time.

"You know us Scots." I grabbed Jamie's arm, sensing him tense up beside me, and smiled at the Princes ' _kind'_ words. "We can be quite a force to be reckoned with once our blood is up." I acknowledged, bringing the Prince back at ease, "But that's what makes us such good fighters. Something I'm sure you ken well." I taunted him, much to Jamie's delight.

"I do indeed Mrs Fraser." The Prince smiled back at me, "In fact I'm counting on it." He bowed at me and took a sip of his wine before starting a new conversation with the men to his right.

"Careful Sassenach." Jamie whispered in my ear, "It's my job to insult the king and start fights remember." He grinned with pride at my putting the Prince in his place.

"I'm simply following your lead." I teased him as I took my hand and placed it on his knee under his kilt. I squeezed it gently as I felt the blood rush through his veins and the hairs stand still at my touch. I felt Jamie squirm as he tried to hide his reaction from the others. "I do love you James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser." I said softly and slowly, feeling him squirm harder as I massaged his inner thigh and seduced him with a look I knew he could not resist.

"And I love you Mrs Claire Fraser my Lady of Lallybroch." He grinned at me pleased "Now and always." he promised as he watched my lips and imagined what he would do to them once I was sufficiently recovered and we could find a moment of privacy together. We had found each other again, as promised, and all seemed forgiven. Tonight we would celebrate our blessings and fill our bellies and tomorrow we would march on in our quest to save the world or at least our small corner of it.


End file.
